Some sports fans ought to be very thankful
And so should coaches Crennel, Weis and Larry Brown — for having jobs
 Gene Puskar / AP file New York Giants wide receiver David Tyree (85) catches a 32-yard pass despite the efforts of New England Patriots safety Rodney Harrison (37) during the waning seconds of Super Bowl XLII. The play, considered one of the most heroic in Super Bowl history, helped set up the eventual winning touchdown pass from Eli Manning to Plaxico Burress. |
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Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis for coming to work every morning and finding that no one’s thrown their stuff into the parking lot and changed the locks on their office doors. In a time of growing unemployment, many people each day learn they’ve lost a job through no fault of their own. These two keep collecting paychecks — also through no fault of their own.
The Pittsburgh Pirates for India, where they have finally found players more obscure and with less potential than those who have turned the franchise into the worst in baseball. While they’re at it, the team’s owners should give fervent thanks to each and every one of the team’s remaining fans — both of them.
The New York Knicks for having fans willing to pay small fortunes to watch a team that has put a sign up outside Madison Square Garden saying: “Due to the necessity of clearing cap space for the pursuit of LeBron James, we’ve sworn off winning basketball for the next two years. We regret the inconvenience.”
Lance Armstrong for the millions of French cycling fans who did cheer him during his seven straight Tour de France wins and who still want him to return and win again.
Michael Vick for the overwhelming likelihood that there’s no such thing as reincarnation, which saves him from having to spend his next — short — life as a toy poodle in a pit bull kennel.
Al Davis for the fact that the NFL does not have a way to force incompetent owners to sell their teams.
Jets fans for waking up every Sunday for 16 weeks knowing that Brett Favre is going to lead their team into battle.
Mets fans for the spirit of sacrifice shown by CitiCorp. The giant banking company is hurting and is being kept afloat by a $25 billion bailout from the federal government. And yet the Citi is still willing to give $400 million to the Mets for the naming rights to the team’s new field.
Cardinals fans for getting to watch Albert Pujols hit nearly every day for six months of every year.
Philadelphia fans for finally being able to hold a championship parade. Let’s hope it doesn’t go to their heads.
Yankee starting pitchers for the blessing of having Mariano Rivera to back them up.
Cavalier fans for every day LeBron James takes the court between now and July 1, 2010 — the day he becomes a free agent.
College presidents for football fans who are willing to tolerate their refusal to buy into a playoff system for intercollegiate athletics’ flagship sport.
Chinese female gymnasts for their country’s ability to produce valid — if perhaps inaccurate — birth certificates on a moment’s notice.
Michael Phelps for the heroic anchor leg swum by Jason Lezak that beat the French by a fingernail and made breaking Mark Spitz’ record possible.
Tiger Woods for the miracles of reconstructive surgery.
Patriots’ fans for discovering that that kid Cassel — you know, the one who never played — could actually throw a football.
Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden for the fact that there is no mandatory retirement age for college football coaches.
Larry Brown for the fact that there are still people willing to give him another job.
The NBA for the Redeem Team, that not only brought the gold back to the home of the game, but did it with a degree of class that left the world singing their praises.
Bud Selig for owners who prefer to pay him millions rather than hiring a commissioner who’d actually run baseball in a rational and decisive manner.
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Giants fans for David Tyree and his magic pass-catching helmet.
A Duck goes for a ride, a NASCAR driver takes flight, some bankers take to boxing, and much more.
Greg Norman for one more chance to lose a major tournament on the final day — and for having Chris Evert to comfort him afterwards.
David Stern for arriving at June to find the Lakers and Celtics in the NBA finals again.
Scott Boras for discovering a profession in which he can get rich by being a greedy and unfeeling jerk without ever having to say, “Your Honor, may I approach the bench?”
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