7. THE TOURNAMENT (2005)
Technically, “The Tournament” is a not a movie. It was a Canadian TV series whose only airing on an American network was on whatever the heck that channel is that carries the NHL. But “The Tournament” is the funniest, most honest portrayal of sports parents ever. Fortunately, it is scheduled for DVD release early next year, so it’s kind of like a movie, right? The first six episodes, if you cut out the promos and commercials, would be an incredible two-hour movie on its own, and should be watched in that way.
“The Tournament” is a Christopher Guest/”The Office”-style mockumentary, nominally about the Farqueson Funeral Home Warriors of fictional Briarside, Ont., a squad of plucky 10-year-olds heading off to a national hockey tournament. But the show takes John Wooden’s dictum that sports does not create character, but reveals it, and tests it on those kids’ parents. Of course, they fail.
The series’ brilliance is recognizing how parents’ love and dreams for their children can be motivated as much by their need to look good, and their realization that it is too late in life to have hopes and dreams about their own future, as it is the children’s actual well-being.
Everyone ends up looking like a cad in “The Tournament,” including special guest star Phil Esposito, who appears at the tournament to big-time the dads and hit on one of the moms. In America, a very small cult audience will remember the show’s Memorable Quotes, Cry with laughter and get Inspired — to do the opposite of everything these Canuck-leheads do. (By the way, word out of Canada is that Fox wants to adapt “The Tournament,” except to have the kids play baseball instead of hockey.)
6. SLAP SHOT (1977)
Three hockey movies in the top 10? Either hockey is a natural for filmmaking, or the only way to have a hockey movie made is to have a great script. (“Youngblood” being a notable exception.)
The Hanson Brothers are still making public appearances 30 years after “Slap Shot?” Either the dumb-but-lovable goons have had a grand cultural impact (“Old-time hockey!”), or they, and those who hire them, have nothing better to do.
“Slap Shot” is still hockey players’ favorite movie. Either it’s a testament to the hilarious, vulgar tale’s resonance about life in the minors, or it’s a testament to just how much “Youngblood” stunk.
5. BREAKING AWAY (1979)
The drama about four college-town nobodies using Indiana University’s Little 500 bicycle race as their ultimate town-gown battle has Underdog and Stick It to the Man to the max, as well as the ability to Make Men Cry through stone inspiration. For example, the scene in which Dennis Christopher drafts behind a semi-truck. That is second, behind the “Rocky” run up the Philadelphia Museum of Art steps, in the list of best training scenes in a sports film.
The most Memorable Quote from the movie came was the derogatory nickname the collegians gave the townies – “Cutters.” (So named because limestone-cutting is a big industry in the area—see what I mean by stone inspiration?) One of the most dominating teams in the real-life Little 500 over the last decade or so is called the Cutters – though they are students not affiliated with a fraternity, rather than real Bloomingtonians.
SECOND INTERMISSION
Want to make a memorable sports movie? Set it, or film it, in Indiana. “Hoosiers,” “Breaking Away,” “Rudy,” “Knute Rockne: All-American,” “A League of Their Own,” “Eight Men Out” – all worth repeated viewings. Caveat: the film cannot involve Bob Knight (see, or better yet don’t see, “Blue Chips” and “Season on the Brink.”)
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